Jenny's blog

I must be a loser

My brother made me set up a Facebook account a couple of years ago. None of my friends were on it (back then it was mostly college students), and so I did nothing with it. Later, friend Chad, begged me to get on. Ignored him. Finally, after fb was in the news so much, I decided I better set up an account and figure out what the big deal was. I knew that soon my kids would be asking for accounts, and I need to know how it worked before they do.


Suddenly, lots of friends were on it. In fact, since I have been active, hooboodles of people my age seem to be starting up accounts. Now Jared’s aunts and uncles, and even my FIL, have accounts. In a few days I had almost 100 friends, what with all the ward members, high school friends, college friends, etc. Whoa. I felt popular. There are some games I play, Mafia Wars and Yoville, too, that add to the addictiveness.

And that status thing. Love it. For whatever reason, I love the idea of posting some obscure thing and having others post about it. Sometimes I even brainstorm ideas of what thing to post. Now to the point: I think I’m a loser. I shouldn’t feel so validated by this virtual snippet of Fake Life.

And yet I do = loser.

We have 3 moves, 1 home rennovation, and 2 injuries this week. After an extended dry spell, it seems like the ward collapsed this week. Add this to the stake 5k, our 90 day Book of Mormon reading kickoff, enrichment, the youth fundraiser, the Memorial Day BBQ, plus our regular meetings….. May is going to be a rough month.

My hands have been acting up again, but I have been trying to ignore them. I worked out this week, like I said earlier, and got sick each time. I was menstruating, and I think that was my problem. I tend to be a little anemic. But I hate being such a wuss nearly 25% of my life.

The weather has been so beautiful the past few days that it just lifts my spirits to be outside. My daffodils are almost gone, but the tulips and hyacinths are up. The pink azalea bushes I bought for $3.49 each are blooming, to my shock. The dogwood trees are in bloom and the red buds are finishing. Tomorrow I hope to get some dirt to finish the vegetable bed and some mulch to put up by the gate before it gets out of hand up there. I will transplant the ugly midget daffodils to the yard, too, but not until the grass is cut.

I saw a commercial on TV that had the trim work I want on our arches. I’ve been putting off finishing the trim in our house until I get the arches finished; otherwise, I think it will make tearing up the walls even harder. I thought I would get to at least the shoe moldings this week. Ha. I’ve been using my mornings on these service projects, and afternoons are filled with the kids and their activities. The websites are like an albatross around my neck. Sometimes I think I should have sold to that guy. I keep thinking eventually I’ll be released and I can get on top of the websites and the laundry and the house. But really, it’s that I’m just not diligent enough. If I were willing to clean late into the night or never watch TV or whatever, I could do it all. I am just not there.

I am starting to actually enjoy my Old Testament reading. I marked several passages in Chronicles over the past few weeks. I don’t know why it wasn’t included in the Institute manual — maybe because it’s a lot the same as Samuel, but I’m glad I went back to read it. I am having trouble remembering which of the smaller books I’ve read now. I will have to get out manual 1 to see what I read. I do remember that I skipped Psalms.

My grandma seems to be doing poorly. I wish she could just come out here. I wish she would have had that knee operation. I thought she might go to DisneyWorld with us in December, but she got to doing worse again. Her mind is not as good as it was, but it’s still good. There is some tension with the family out there, too, that from my (admittedly very far away) perspective seems ridiculous. Why can’t people accept each other? Why do we think it’s okay to be hateful or ugly to people because we can “see” their sins? Shunning sin does not equal shunning sinners. I am a sinner that they don’t shun — simply because they can’t see my sins. I know now that it’s wrong to avoid sinners because we’re uncomfortable talking about That Kind of Sin with our kids. It’s better just to talk about it and make a clear stand about behaviors, and loving each other, early, imo.

Speaking of uncomfortable topics with kids…. we’ve now had the Bad Language, Sex, and Gay talks with DS. I can’t say I’m completely comfortable with any of the topics, but mercy’s sakes, I look like a stone cold statue compared to Jared! LOL! You should have seen him during FHE the other night. We were talking about “My Gospel Standards” from the back of the Faith in God booklets, mainly as a way to get DS to think about using appropriate language. Jared mentioned that we should be very careful about what we read because it might contain inappropriate stuff, “Like what?” was the inevitable inquiry. “Well, maybe like lots of kissing.” Looking thoughtful, DS says, “Is kissing really all that bad? I mean, a lot of books have some kissing.” Jared is about to faint dead away. Turning pale. So I said, “Daddy means there might be sex in some books, and that is inappropriate. Kissing is usually okay, as long as it isn’t the whole story.” Relieved, DS says, “Okay.” It was a lot funnier at the time that it is writing it. I guess I’m just more used to it since I’m usually the one handling these things with the kids anyway. Poor Jared. It’s only gonna get worse.

Our savings account is dwindling as we pay for all this stuff that keeps breaking — lawnmower is the most recent — and yet I really do feel blessed. There are many who are looking for work or ill or losing homes or living paycheck-to-paycheck. I hope we can use our blessings to help those around us. Next time, it’ll probably be us.

Posted by Jenny Smith

I'm Jenny Smith. I blog about life on the 300+ acres of rolling farmland in Northern Virginia where I live. I like tomatoes, all things Star Trek, watercolor, and reading. I spend most days in the garden fighting deer and groundhogs while trying to find my life's meaning. I'm trying to be like Jesus -- emphasis on the trying.