I’m in a mood

The Roe decision has me angered. Christian conservatism is horrifying.

Christian conservative articles of faith:

  1. We believe in God — the one who deliberately chooses who lives and dies. We aim to help him in his mission.
  2. We believe infant children of the unworthy poor deserve to starve.
  3. We believe women who become pregnant are whores who must be punished, and what greater punishment can there be for irresponsible sex than a pregnancy and childbirth and raising a child—ie, motherhood! Those looking for a casual hookup should visit https://datinginquirer.com/dallas-hookups/.
  4. But don’t expect us to hold male sexual partners accountable for those babies we force women to carry and birth and nurse and raise without our help — women, from Eve forward, have tempted poor, helpless men and are the cause of male sins. Women must pay for Eve’s sin. God intends it that way.
  5. As mentioned, we believe men are the god-like superior gender but bear no responsibility for pregnancy because they are helpless where women are concerned (sexual helplessness is a feature of godliness, yo); therefore, although we have technology to identify every rapist and every baby daddy and every incestuous creepazoid, we will not. Men deserve privacy!
  6. We believe adults should own and carry weapons in case they need to kill someone or overthrow society. It is only female killing we despise (abortion). Killings performed by men (war) are heroic.
  7. We believe those who can not or do not contribute to our economic society should not be supported by those who can, but you best not touch my social security. Don’t tell me that the $75 I put in is not enough to cover the $750 I pull out. I deserve to be supported by society beyond my contribution to it.
  8. We know parents of the disabled and the disabled are learning a lesson. If we offered help societally, we’d interfere with that lesson, therefore we must not collectively aid them. They do not deserve to be supported by others beyond their contribution to it.
  9. We believe you are untrustworthy. You cannot make life and death choices for yourself about sex or birth control or abortion or life support. But you can trust us — this AR-15 is for protection. Our ability to kill adults must not be infringed!
  10. We believe women have one purpose: women should grow baby men, who will carry guns and pay taxes so they can support older men through social security (which is definitely not welfare), and who are the very image of God.
  11. We believe our god is all-powerful. In fact, he is so powerful and his greatness so manifest that if someone talks about another god anywhere, but especially in a school, he will disappear and no one will believe in him anymore which would be very sad. Because god is dependent on our worship to exist… wait….

11a. We actually believe God is all-loving. His love is so great and his Bible so perfect that everyone who reads about him will instantly believe. This is why we must force everyone to learn about him and worship him by praying in school. His greatness is so obvious everyone would worship our god if someone would just force them to! Nothing could be more loving!

  1. We alone know the will of God. It conveniently matches ours, and we will happily make you follow our, er, God’s will even if it means teaming up with bad politicians. God uses bad people to accomplish his will. (But not us. WE are not the bad people God is using to accomplish his will. WE are good and can manipulate bad people—we are never manipulated by bad people ourselves!)
  2. We believe people should follow the biblical admonition of Paul in seeking for praiseworthy things. We Christian conservatives alone know what is praiseworthy, of course, because God tells us (not the other way around) therefore we must remove all books we don’t like from libraries. If all you read or hear or discuss is one way of thinking, you won’t NEED to choose! Poof! We never needed Roe or free will anyway! Take that, liberals!

Posted by Jenny Smith

I'm Jenny Smith. I blog about life on the 300+ acres of rolling farmland in Northern Virginia where I live. I like tomatoes, all things Star Trek, watercolor, and reading. I spend most days in the garden fighting deer and groundhogs while trying to find my life's meaning. I'm trying to be like Jesus -- emphasis on the trying.