Tag Archives: healthy relationships

LDS Handout

Teen Dating Violence

Teen Dating Violence

Are you going out with someone who …
* Is jealous and possessive, won’t let you have friends, checks up on you, won’t accept breaking up?
* Tries to control you by being bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, not taking your opinions seriously?
* Puts you down in front of friends, tells you that you would be nothing without him or her?
* Scares you? Makes you worry about reactions to things you say or do? Threatens you? Uses or owns weapons?
* Is violent? Has a history of fighting, loses temper quickly, brags about mistreating others? Grabs, pushes, shoves, or hits you?
* Pressures you for sex or is forceful or scary about sex? Gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
* Abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to take them?
* Has a history of failed relationships7 and blames the other person for all the problems?
* Makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions you could be the victim of dating abuse. Dating violence or abuse affects one in ten teen couples. Abuse isn’t just hitting. It’s yelling, threatening, name-calling, saying I’ll kit! myself if you leave me, obsessive phone calling, and extreme possessiveness.

What If You Want Out?
* Tell your parents, a friend, a counselor, a clergyman, or someone else whom you trust c¬Ľnd who can help. The more isolated you are from friends and family, the more control the abuser nas over you.
Alert the school counselor or security officer.
* Keep a daily log of the abuse.
* Do not meet your partner alone. Do no let him or her in your home or car when you are alone.
* Avoid being alone at school, your job, on the way to and from places.
* Tell someone where you are going and when you plan to be back.
* Plan and rehearse what you would do if your partner became abusive.

Being a Friend to a Victim of Abuse
* Most teens talk to other teens about their problems. If a friend tells you he or she is being victimized, here are some suggestions on how you can help.
* If you notice a friend is in an abusive relationship, don’t ignore signs of abuse. Talk to your friend.
* Express your concerns. Tell your friend you’re worried. Support, don’t judge.
* Point out your friend’s strengths – many people in abusive relationships are no longer capable of seeing their own abilities and gifts.
* Encourage them to confide in a trusted adult. Talk to a trusted adult if you believe the situation is getting worse. Offer to go with them for help.
* Never put yourself in a dangerous situation with the victim’s partner. Don’t be a mediator.
* Call the police if you witness an assault. Tell an adult – a school principal, parent, guidance counselor.

I received this text from a representative of our local women’s shelter, but the original source is the Boulder City Police Department of Boulder, Colorado.

The clipart is from ClipartHeaven.com

LDS Handout

Healthy Relationships

Your relationship is healthy when…

  • You trust your partner.
  • Your partner likes your friends, encourages you to spend time with them, and wants to include them in his life as well as yours.
  • You make important decisions together.
  • Your partner understands when you want to spend time away from him.
  • You don’t have to lie to protect your partner’s reputation or cover for his mistakes.
  • Your partner encourages you to enjoy different activities (like joining the volleyball team, or being in a play) and helps you reach your goals.
  • Your partner likes you for who you are–not just for what you look like.
  • You are not afraid to say what you think and why you think that way.
  • You like to hear how your partner thinks, and don’t always have to agree.
  • You have both friendship and physical attraction.
  • You don’t have to be with your partner 24/7.

This is from a handout I received at a service project for our local women’s shelter. This is a good handout for Enrichment or Young Women’s meetings. Though this handout applies mostly to women, it could be used in lessons involving young men, too.

The clipart is from ClipartHeaven.com